To love and care for yourself is not vain, selfish, or woo-woo. Aside from soothing your soul, acts of self-love have been shown to prevent or manage diseases. So why not include some simple self-love practices into your routine?
Growing up, I thought that romantic love was the only form of love and it solely existed in movies. I never saw evidence of self-love as a child; it was something I had to teach myself. I remember my parents questioning my obsession with dance and fitness. "I don't know why you exercise so much, you're not overweight", my mother would yell. I would always reply that one does not have to be overweight to work out. I did it because it made me feel good. Also, because growing up in an abusive home, I needed something to make me feel powerful.
Self-love can be defined as the practice of taking an active role in improving, maintaining, and sustaining one's spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional well-being. "The WHO also mentions that self-care is a broad term and many facets of a person’s life come into play, including:
Hygiene (general and personal)
Nutrition
Lifestyle factors such as exercise level and leisure activities
Environmental factors such as a person’s living conditions or social habits
Socioeconomic factors such as a person’s income level or cultural beliefs
Self-medication and following treatment plans for current illnesses"
As you can see, self-care and self-love are not new-age concepts, nor is it about splurging on a spa experience. It's about taking care of our vessel. Read on to find 10 simple and sustainable ways to love yourself a little more each day.
1. Speak up/Advocate for Yourself
Part of our divine right is full self-expression. This includes speaking up and setting boundaries. Advocating for ourselves is an act of self-love. Perhaps it's asking for a raise or taking a mental day off from work. It could also mean telling your spouse where you'd like more support or telling a friend or family member that they crossed the line somewhere. Life doesn't come with a manual. We have to create the manual along the way and sometimes we have to give people a copy of said manual, especially when there have been upgrades and updates.
2. Wear What Makes You Come Alive
I was a fashion marketing major in college before I got into education, so I love clothes. When we look good, we feel good. Don't wait until a special occasion to wear the new pair of sneakers you just bought. Every day is a special occasion. When I was a classroom teacher, I always wore a flower in my hair, even in the dead of winter in NYC. It made me happy. One day, I didn't wear it. The cashier at my favorite bodega said "Hey, what happened? You don't have the flower in your hair?" "Oh. I didn't want to wear it today." I responded, to which he said "That's too bad, I love seeing the flowers in your hair. It made me smile 'cause nobody does that." Sometimes, what makes you come alive also brings other people joy. If you have to adhere to a strict dress code for work, so consider using a lip gloss that makes you feel like a movie star.
3. Go Outside
Fresh air, nature, and sunshine are medicine. Take time to go outside as often as possible. If you work from home, try to situate your office by a window or work from your porch, balcony, or backyard. If you don't have access to outdoor space from your home, take your laptop to the closest park or even your apartment's fire escape (safely, of course). If you work in a building, see if you can carve out some time during lunch once a week to go for a walk instead of sitting in the break room.
Take yourself out on a field trip. Try not to spend every day off indoors. Go for a walk, visit the park, or the beach, or perhaps have coffee, tea, or a cocktail at a local shop or restaurant. Is there a movie or play that you're curious about? Go see it! Don't wait for someone to ask you or for a friend or significant other to be available.
4. Eat Your Favorite Meal
Food is deeply tied to our senses. Whether you love to cook, order out, or go out, choose a day when you will eat your favorite meal or dessert and take time to truly enjoy it. Limit distractions, don't count calories (and if you go out, don't forget to wear what makes you come alive!). Savor the meal and express gratitude. Gratitude for having your five senses intact to help you fully enjoy the experience, gratitude for the financial means to purchase the ingredients or to pay the bill, gratitude for the servers or delivery people, gratitude for having a home and the means with which to cook the meal and so on.
Enjoy your coffee or tea as well. If you can, make time in the mornings to sip your beverage in peace before you have to tend to the world, please do (no need to get up at 4 am). If mornings are not an option, perhaps some tea in the evening before bed. Again, use your 5 senses to enjoy and savor the herbs and smell. Then see what your 6th sense reveals to you. This is a great time to journal or pull an oracle card or light a magickal candle.
5. Wash your hair
Washing your hair is such a powerful act. Our hair holds energy and our Ori (head, crown chakra) is sacred. Whenever I notice that I'm having too many intrusive thoughts or I feel blocked, I will wash my hair with coconut water or mint water, wrap my head with something white, and I will feel better almost instantly. You can also find a shampoo with an envigorating scent and add 2-3 drops of mint (food grade) essential oil to your shampoo and conditioner. I use this Viva Doria Peppermint Essential Oil to add to my shampoo and to make mouth rinse.
6. Dance and Laugh
I was a professional dancer and instructor. There is so much evidence that speaks to the physical, mental, and emotional effects of dance on people of all ages. Dance is also a powerful spiritual tool. It doesn't matter if you think that you have two left feet or you're a seasoned dancer, put on your favorite music and let your body move. Record yourself doing the latest TikTok dances and erase them later, dance while you are cooking, dance with your pet, or dance while you're cleaning the house. Like the Lee Ann Womack song says, "If you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance."
In an article in the Lancet titled, Laughter is the Best Medicine, authors Dimitry Petrov and Daniel Marchalik wrote, "In December 2022, a viral video of a female Ukrainian soldier dancing on a snowy bank made headlines. The cheerful choreography and the upbeat Ukrainian song were a stark contrast to the staccato of gunfire in the background. Loud criticisms of the unseriousness of the video in the middle of a war were voiced, but there was also an outpouring of support from some military personnel. They recognized a reality of military life and trauma, and the need for finding an emotional outlet." Laughter is a powerful act of self-love and a tool for self-care. You can watch your favorite comedian, laugh at your pet's antics, play with your children or spouse, or laugh at yourself during the aforementioned dance parties. Take time to remember we can't always take life seriously.
7. Read
As a child, reading and writing allowed me to create an alternate universe that took me away from the reality of my abusive home. When I became a teacher, I enjoyed teaching reading and writing the most. Make time to read or listen to a good book. Whether it's fiction or non-fiction, make sure it's uplifting or educating.
I have a Master's degree in education, so I understand that everyone learns differently. If you prefer audiobooks Audible has a FREE 30-day trial. I prefer physical books, but I signed up for Audible when a colleague suggested it. It was a great way to "read" during my commutes. I've since ended the subscription only because I've carved out more time for reading, but I was able to keep all of the books, which I still go back to. I highly recommend Audible.
8. Sleep
I used to say, "I'll sleep when I'm dead" all of the time. Eventually, I learned that this was not a sustainable way to live. Sleep gives the body a chance to recalibrate. Additionally, many metaphysical texts cite sleep as an effective way to receive spiritual insight. I'm not going to make suggestions as to the number of hours one should sleep because everybody functions differently. Figure out how many hours you need to feel good and try to reach that goal at least 4-5 times a week. I will say that no TV in the bedroom and limiting scrolling or answering emails before bed is ideal.
You don't have to incorporate all of these practices daily. Start, small and find the self-love practices that are most beneficial to you, and figure out how you can begin to make them a part of your week. If you would like support or guidance on how to identify the best practices that work for you for your current phase in life, I'd love to help! Book a life guidance session with me and you will walk away with the practices best aligned to your journey.